.’it is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me.’ ……~Sylvia Plath..
I wish feelings could be captured like trails of smoke in a dreich carafe, it’s mouth sealed with a dull, quaint spile, a dullness so repugnant that no one wishes to detach the spile and let those smoke of feelings defile their breath..
I wish I could stop feeling so much, a burst of uncanny and wearily screaming emotions that drains every hope I set my heart on.. how my fickle, sour heart pins hope and expectations on every person it cares about, only to realize they were never obliged to fulfill those.. people leave and why should it be so tough to accept?
and so I promised every ray of sun that fondled me today that I would retch up every sickening feeling that stifles my throat, depriving me of words, as if my tongue’s been varnished with cold phrases and lacquered with bitter bile..
And so I would create this armour around me, strong enough and never let my shield down.. I would let my soul pine and crave for love and warmth, until it gives up and realizes it’s truth has none in store but darkness, I would, in short, stop feeling anymore..