The story..

…….

And they told me a story when I was young, 

When I asked in my cherubic, lively, childish tone

 ‘why can’t I rule a kingdom of my own, 

why do I need to wait for a king, 

to be coronated as a queen?’

.

.

Here how the story goes, 

‘she was minacious and stalwart, 

Her stark, sturdy orders froze

 the bile rising up in one’s scalded throat,

they gagged on words, 

And not a soul dared to raise it’s voice, 

When she exhaled those staunch, robust commands..

Her palace stenched of pungent white phosphorus, 

Poisonous but luminescent,

effulgent rays that blinded even the bravest, 

They say she erected her kingdom so sturdy,

That not even the great warriors dared to raise their swords, 

Not one dared to fight her, 

She was the queen, 

Queen without a king,

But can there be any queen without a man for king? 

Huh.. She was the most shameless woman, was she not? ‘ said they.. 

.

.

But I saw a trail of stardust blow across my eyes, 

As I said, stupefied,

‘ No,  instead she was strong, 

She was the ‘duchess of swords’

‘ THE QUEEN OF SOULS’..’

.

.

And they  gasp, petrified, as they see,   

my eyes streaked with the fleck of fire, 

Perhaps A glimpse of another queen….

.

.

©A. Kamal.. 

Wishes..

.

…………

.’it is so much safer not to feel, not to let the world touch me.’ ……~Sylvia Plath..

                                                                                 

……..

I wish feelings could be captured like trails of smoke in a dreich carafe, it’s mouth sealed with a dull, quaint spile, a dullness so repugnant that no one wishes to detach the spile and let those smoke  of feelings defile their breath..

I wish I could stop feeling so much, a burst of uncanny and wearily screaming emotions that drains every hope I set my heart on.. how my fickle, sour heart pins hope and expectations on every person it cares about, only to realize they were never obliged to fulfill those.. people leave and why should it be so tough to accept? 

and so I promised every ray of sun that fondled me today that I would retch up every sickening feeling that stifles my throat, depriving me of words, as if my tongue’s been varnished with cold phrases and lacquered with bitter bile.. 

And so I would create this armour around me, strong enough and never let my shield down.. I would let my soul pine and crave for love and warmth, until it gives up and realizes it’s truth has none in store but darkness, I would, in short, stop feeling anymore.. 

      ©A. Kamal..✨

Passiflora wings..

on most days I feel more like a failure,

My flamboyant, gaudy,  celestial feathers, 

now bleached and dusty,

under the pallid twilight of the waning ivory crescent..

I feel like freezing time into shimmering little crystallized pearls, 

putting it in a green glass bottle,

 and offering it to the ocean currents to decide its fate,

 just like it decides all of ours.. 

on other days I feel like ceasing the thawing breeze, 

Zooming it for hours till I find the loom of transparent threads it’s moulded of, 

 carrying the sweetest secret and buried whispers from the places it has travelled through.. 

how surreal this notion seems,

 to think that the wind’s composed of invisible strings,

 hemmed by the star scented seraphs and fairies,  

with the powers of blowing off all our worries,

on such days I wonder what lies beyond the dank blanket of million stars named the ‘sky’..

May be if it singed into ashes just like the crumbled pages addressed to  hearth, it will open the doors to nothingness too, 

a damp void of powered wishes aimed at the shooting stars, 

Maybe this void will consume my failing efforts too, 

And maybe it’ll get me a new pair of vivid mauve wings lined with passiflora tendrils,

 and laced with new hopes stitched in rosalind designs too, 

Maybe it’ll weave it’s sky together again,

And let me take my flight too.’

..

©A. Kamal.. ‘

Read more works..👇..

Clones..

..

‘a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground,  with no one around to tweet it.’                ~the lakes(ts)

the cell phone beeped with a tumultuous wave of notifications,

to apprise people of the newfangled quarts of cynical, 

obligated acknowledgements,

a surplus of honeyed compliments and likes on their newly posted pictures, 

a dissection of the pictures to mark their lacks and a casino of demeaning selves. 

I’m not cut out for all these cynical clones,

these hunters with cell phones.’

and the blinking dull screen seizing peace, 

a sleazing conduit of sly hurtles, 

houses teeming with seething people hooked to their cell screen..

While books on shelves continue to rust,  

burrowed under mammoth eulogies,

the prose of the wise under dust, 

while the fools on the screens continue to reign..

‘take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die,

I don’t belong..’

….

..

©A. Kamal.. 

Read more works👇

the fall..(part 1..)

To the woman who gives me power, 

I still remember the day as fresh as the amber streaked dew on new spring tendrils, when you took me to the park  at the corner of the lake street,  avenue 82A, kolkata..i was 6, holding your finger tight enough and walking by your side pulling at the end of your red laced muslin jamdani Saree when I tripped over a sturdy stone and fell on the road, my knees bruised and my eyes welling up with tears, but u didn’t even spare a glance at me but continued rambling up the street.. I cried for a while loud enough to grab your attention but when you did not look back, I crawled and struggled up the road till I got up finally , rubbed off the dust, cleaned my wound with the water in my bottle and ran towards you screaming and complaining the whole way till I reached you asking innumeral questions about you not taking notice of me, I retorted and inquired about how could you leave me there in pain and just walk away, you looked down at me, gave a warm smile and said, ‘shona, this is your trek up the hill, hill shrouded all over with barbed brambles, stinging nettles, thorny shrubs and cankers, when you trip over something here and fall down, you will definitely be hurt, so much so that your bruises will stick to you like obstinate curry stains on pearl skinned clothes, but these bruises and scars will make their way to the journal of your life, because its always you who have  to fight all this alone and make it to the top alone..that’s how life is, it shoves you down now and again, but just like today, you have to get up, rub the dust off and run again, faster and better.’

                                                                              ~by your wonderful shona ( your granddaughter)

Akansha.. 🌼

Ps: this series is dedicated to my grandmother, the person who I look up to as my pedestal…I wanna share with you guys bout her and expect that it will help you’ll too..

Afraid, are you?

and then it all started to fall apart, again… How miserable it is when the manor of hopes erected with the ingots of hard work starts to pulverize just in front of our eyes… Times when feeling like failure comes more easier then breathing..

It’s hard to pick up those splintered pieces of our distraught self and start again…… But doesn’t all glory comes from daring to begin..

Remember the time when Mr. Churchill quoted, “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it’s the courage to continue that counts.”.. I hope you resonated it, right? If no, then now is the time, to rise and shine, and to begin again..

As to some effective ways, you can try out the ones below..

1. Mow down the guilt…: what is really meant by this is that just get rid of the guilt that weighs you down.. Guilt of failures often quells and sears our hopes.. So first of all, we need to free our heart from this guilt and start anew. Some simple steps like indulging into hobbies, meditation, taking out some self care time to clear our thoughts may do the trick and help us reboot..

2. Weave a list..: we can’t start anew anything without a coherent list.. So pull out your notepad and jot down your to-do list.. It’s said “a goal without a plan is just a wish” so, to be successful in your endeavors, you need to opt some meticulous tactics, like, alloting various time slots to different tasks, making a proper routine to finish your school lessons and so on…

3. Self motivation..: can I do it this time? What if ???….oh.. Not again.. Does these “WHAT IF’S” bug you too.. well.. Then you need to make yourself aware that only believing that “I can do it” will help you.. Whenever the clouds of insecurity looms out of the dark days, just take some deep breaths or give yourself a power packed inspirational speech facing the mirror and start afresh…

4. The Gratitude bowl.. : This is quite a simple way to thank yourself.. Well, yes you read it right, just thank and praise yourself.. Thank yourself cause you are stalwart, courageous to fight the odds, stronger than yesterday to deal with your troubles of today… Cause at the end, don’t we matter to us too…!!!!

“yes you’re strong, fearless, wonderful, amazing.. …… You have tasted the dust of failure, now it’s time to savour the clouds of success..”

Take care….🌼

©A. Kamal

#about me

Just a 17 year old poet and writer aspiring to create a niche in this amazing world breaming with talents.

Kindly visit my site “Hiraeth” for reading my write-ups and show some love!🌼🌼

Hope you follow and support me in my new endeavors..